{"id":5051309,"date":"2021-06-13T21:59:12","date_gmt":"2021-06-13T21:59:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/malatinonews.com\/?p=5051309"},"modified":"2021-06-13T21:59:12","modified_gmt":"2021-06-13T21:59:12","slug":"all-you-need-is-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/2021\/06\/13\/all-you-need-is-love\/","title":{"rendered":"All You Need Is Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI\u2019m bisexual\u201d, Isabella Balta said heaving a long sigh of relief.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I literally saw the heavy weight lifting from my twelve-year-old daughter\u2019s shoulders and quickly felt a similar weight landing on mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My family and I were eating out at a neighborhood restaurant, discussing the U.S. Supreme Court\u2019s ruling in favor of marriage equality, making same-sex marriage legal across the country. The #LoveWins movement was a hot topic in the summer of 2015 that as a family we often talked about with support.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometime between the appetizer and main course being served, Isabella decided it was the right time to share with us she is bisexual.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My wife Adriana and I would have preferred Isabella had come out to us at home where we would talk in private, but as parents, we had learned long ago the right time and place for our children wasn\u2019t always the right time and place for us &#8211; so we often pivoted accordingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">June is Pride Month, celebrating the increased visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people (LGBTQ). I am sharing my family&#8217;s experience in the hope that it will help other families, especially Hispanics-Latinos navigate through what often is a challenging situation due to the community&#8217;s diversity including country of origin, religious beliefs, and culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"960\" height=\"720\" src=\"https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/05\/IMG_7411.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5051314\" srcset=\"https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/05\/IMG_7411.jpg 960w, https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/05\/IMG_7411-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/05\/IMG_7411-768x576.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/><figcaption>Pride Month, NYC, 2018<br>Photo: Hugo, Isabella, Adriana, Esteban<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>All You Need Is Love<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In a matter of seconds, I went through a barrage of emotions and grabbed on to pride and admiration. Adriana, Esteban (our son), and I celebrated Isabella\u2019s courage and reaffirmed our love and support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cTime and time again, we hear the same thing from patients: \u2018Once my parents are behind me, I can handle anything else the world throws at me,\u2019\u201d Dr. Errol Lamont Fields, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine explains. \u201cYou\u2019re their anchor, and your acceptance is key.&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hopkinsmedicine.org\/health\/wellness-and-prevention\/tips-for-parents-of-lgbtq-youth\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">In Tips for Parents<\/a> of LGBTQ Youth, Dr. Fields says research shows that LGBTQ adolescents who are supported by their families grow up to be happier and healthier adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had millions of questions of course, and still needed to process what had just happened, sort out my feelings, but at that moment, the most important thing for me was to blanket my daughter with love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-spotify wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-spotify wp-embed-aspect-21-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Spotify Embed: ...Max Cisneros, Latinx Program Officer of the New Haven Pride Center, CT\" style=\"border-radius: 12px\" width=\"100%\" height=\"152\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/60oUCjeflEBT5un2lvn60M?si=Mkdg2ewkQQWgmcQLFiV7xg&#038;dl_branch=1&#038;utm_source=oembed\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>Podcast on the double discrimination: Latino and LGBTQ \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Let&#8217;s Talk<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My wife and I have a transparent relationship with our children. They ask us a question and we answer it truthfully regardless of social taboos conditioning parents not to talk to their children (until a certain age) about subjects like sex.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the time Isabella came out to us, we had already had the conversation about where babies come from. Still, the lesson focused on biology framed from a Papa and Mama heterosexual point of view. Now that we were talking about bisexuality in our nuclear family, I was lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A strong relationship with Isabella afforded me a safe space to learn. She didn\u2019t beat up her old man too much when I asked ignorantly and at times stereotypical questions because she knew I just wanted to better understand her.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She was at an age of self-discovery and relationship building that is challenging for any adolescent, with the added difficulty of being a person of color.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;We know a lot about how parents can influence the heterosexual teen&#8217;s sexual health, but we know very little about how parents can affect the sexual health of LGBTQ teens,&#8221; said researcher Michael Newcomb, Northwestern&#8217;s Feinberg School of Medicine in an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.chicagotribune.com\/news\/ct-met-lgbtq-teens-parents-sex-talk-20180406-story.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">interview<\/a> with the Chicago Tribune. &#8220;And in some ways, the same parenting practices would be relevant to LGBTQ teens, like talking to your kids about sex, monitoring who they&#8217;re hanging out with, who they&#8217;re dating, all those types of things.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know Isabella must go through life lessons\u2019 highs and lows, but like any parent, I am protective of her and don&#8217;t want her to suffer any harm including prejudices for being bisexual.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That fear was quickly put to the test when she told me she was dating a young woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"381\" height=\"283\" src=\"https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/05\/isa-15-a-e1622485249588.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5051310\" srcset=\"https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/05\/isa-15-a-e1622485249588.jpg 381w, https:\/\/latinonewsnetwork.com\/maln\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/13\/2021\/05\/isa-15-a-e1622485249588-300x223.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 381px) 100vw, 381px\" \/><figcaption>Isabella, 2018<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>First Kiss<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some time had passed since Isabella came out before she started dating. I was excited and anxious when she told me about a young girl she liked during one of our Daddy, Daughter dates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was wonderful to listen to her speak about the person she was seeing; her excitement was written all over her face. She shared with me how they met, what they had in common, what made her special, about plans to go to the movies and a potential first kiss.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I felt comfortable giving my daughter advice about relationships but failed in warning her about the possible harassment they would face in public. There will be enough people throughout her life who will tell her what she can\u2019t do as a bisexual woman, I wasn\u2019t going to be one of them. Isabella was telling her Papa about an incredible life milestone and I wasn\u2019t going to ruin her moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The night of her date, I was nervously waiting for her text asking me to pick her up from the movie theater. I wanted to know she had a great time and that she was safe. I worried what would happen if a bigot saw public displays of affection. Isabella finally did reach out and to my relief the night met her expectations including that first kiss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">On the way home after picking her up, I couldn\u2019t help smiling at my daughter retelling the details of the evening with all of the excitement of a young crush. The drive home was all about chatting with my daughter about the awkwardness and wonderment of a first date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cBe curious about their life,\u201d advises Dr. Renata Arrington-Sanders, Associate Professor of Pediatrics, Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. &#8220;Get to know their friends and what they like to do. Ask them how their day went and if they learned anything interesting in school. If it\u2019s like pulling teeth at times, don\u2019t be discouraged. Children really do want to be able to talk to parents about what&#8217;s going on in their lives.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Quincea\u00f1era<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/hugobaltablog.files.wordpress.com\/2018\/06\/img_8940.jpg?w=700\" alt=\"\"\/><figcaption>Celebrating Isabella, March 2018<br>Photo: Adriana, Isabella, Hugo, Esteban<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">From the start, Adriana and I discussed with Isabella a plan to share with the rest of our family that she was bisexual. The timing was completely up to Isabella; we wanted to make sure she was comfortable with telling others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Coming out to your family can be a difficult experience, even more so if you&#8217;re part of a Hispanic-Latino family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As a community caring deeply about family and friend relationships; LGBTQ Latinx young and old are often afraid to come out not just because of rejection, but also of not wanting to offend anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That fear was shared by Isabella who was more concerned about causing rifts between family members than any individual rejecting her for being bisexual. I appreciated my daughter\u2019s worry but reassured her that she need not compromise herself for family or anyone else. Still, there was a part of me that shared in Isabella\u2019s dread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was raised as Roman Catholic and like most Hispanics-Latinos, many of my family shares that religious faith. The Church has historically had a negative attitude toward queer identities resulting in condemnation of LGBTQ communities forcing many to remain closeted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My faith is strong without feeling I need to follow some of the more conservative teachings of the Church &#8211; I wasn\u2019t sure the rest of my family felt the same way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Isabella celebrated her fifteenth birthday, Quincea\u00f1era in March of 2018. The choice to host the Hispanic-Latino tradition of celebrating a young girl\u2019s coming of age was her decision. Isabella, a third-generation Latina born in the United States made a few adjustments to the cultural celebration in order for it to best reflect her essence. Understanding that a Quincea\u00f1era symbolizes the transition from childhood to young womanhood, she decided this was the moment when she would completely come out to the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The plan that we adopted was for my wife and me to reach out to close family and friends (many of whom were invited to her party) to share Isabella\u2019s story during the 2017 year-end holiday season. We would be seeing many of them between Thanksgiving and New Year\u2019s Eve (months ahead of Isabella\u2019s birthday), providing the right opportunity for us to share the news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You don\u2019t really know people until life-defining moments; I quickly found out my loved ones&#8217; commitment to Isabella and our family. Person after person\u2026parents, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends was swift to send their support and love to our Isabella.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the proudest moments at Isabella\u2019s Quincea\u00f1era was to see her dance surrounded by cheering family and friends as she waved a pink, lavender, and blue flag symbolizing her bisexuality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"CTLN Opinion+: Max Cisneros\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/CMWK17_5po0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption>Video interview on the needs\u00a0Latinx\u00a0youth face at home during the COVID-19 pandemic<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Family support and acceptance are critical to the health and wellbeing of people who are LGBTQ. As lawmakers question the rights of transgender and gender-nonconforming youth across the country amid an ongoing pandemic, the Trevor Project reveals this already vulnerable population is at a high risk of suicide. The study finds 18-percent of Latino LGBTQ youth reported attempting suicide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Providing support can be challenging at times. \u201cSome parents feel so overwhelmed that they just throw up their hands and say, \u2018I can\u2019t do it.\u2019 It\u2019s a lot for parents to process, but don\u2019t leave your kid in the lurch,\u201d urges Dr. Sanders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don&#8217;t give up when your child needs you the most. \u201cRemember, your child is having more difficulty with this than you are,\u201d says Dr. Fields, \u201cand your duty as a parent comes first.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re struggling, reach out for help to organizations like <a href=\"https:\/\/www.glad.org\/overview\/youth-organizations\/massachusetts\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">GLAD<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bostonpride.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Boston Pride<\/a>, Johns Hopkins, and many more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love, as the Roman poet Virgil said, \u201cConquers all things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love gave Isabella the strength to come out at the age of twelfth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love provided our family the foundation to learn and understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love was put to the test and won.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love Wins\u2026then, now and always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/HugoBalta\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Hugo Balta<\/a> is the Owner\/Publisher of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/54150596\/admin\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Latino News Network<\/a> and a two-term president of the <a href=\"https:\/\/nahj.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Association of Hispanic Journalists (NAHJ)<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Versions of this essay were published in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.chicagoreporter.com\/parents-love-transcends-sexual-identity\/?amp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Chicago Reporter<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.palabranahj.org\/archive\/young-strong-and-honest\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">palabra.<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/laraza.com\/2021\/06\/15\/el-amor-de-los-padres-trasciende-la-identidad-sexual-de-sus-hijos\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">La Raza Chicago<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Advice for parents  of Latinx LGBTQ youth 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